My Ambition Extinguished

I suppose not to blame anyone including myself. I felt that my passion for my research study extinguised. I know nothing, nowhere, I lost track of what I'm trying to find out. I keep reading my draft DRAFT research paper to get clear pictures of my research problem.. but still huh HUH HUH, .. blur .. blury.. still confusing to myself.

Ahggg..what is wrong with ME ? The discussion with the two hero and heroin still refresh in my mind. Both are willing to help me, as their student. Expect me to go to the right path of my study, so I can complete my study on time. Inspite of both of them hold their own principles and aproach.

Don't be so much idealist and magnanimous in your study, it's not a student's jobs to do an action research, as they are costly and need long process. Those action research mostly doing by NGOs, fund raising etc. For you as student, you may provide your recommendation in a few pages only out of your hundreds Thesis pages later. She rise up her objection for this action research model. If you want to do philantrophic job, then you can either wait after you finish your PhD or if your passion is really burning to help those then, quit your PhD, join an NGOs and focus your heart and soul there.

The contrary with the Hero comments about the action research, well this is practical research. You may live with the hardcore poor people in the rural, stay with them for a week and make your observation, your study about their inflow and outflow, then you only be able to understand their situation and find out solution to help them out of the poverty trap.
This process will take many years, to assess the poor situation while the microfinancing already help them.. analyse the poor performance and so on .. and so on.. so ON.. hmmm Eventually you present your finding and analysis on the VIVA that will support you a lot.. Nobody will inquiry you.. the study mixed up in your blood, your passion, so easy for you to tackle the show.

I analyze his option methodology, not as easy as I think. Lot of resources needed. I agreed that it will give a clear and significant impact for the poor, but with the all limitations I have.. wisely I decided to push away my ambition and passion to find the other models.


I do understand their reasons and concern, so I need to go to the right path of my study, that until know I still has blurry direction. Hmm.. I need to do alot of Iqro Iqro.. Iqro again.. and study myself about the research research methodology etc. I though no wonder got some students spents many years for their PhD study.. as It's not as easy as I think.. BE SMART...fellow..