It's some pieces of my journeys story in South East Asia. I started my journey from Jakarta to Ho Chi Minh, Then Cambodia, Thailand and Malaysia. Hope I still can continue my trip this year to India or Bangladesh and keep posting my blog to any readers that interested to read.
Slowly.. slowly.. but continuously.. that's the advice from the hiking expert Mr. Dadash.. the Iranian.. which already hike the highest mountain in Teheran called "Darmawan mountain" with 5000meters more height.
Then we start our entry for Penang hill from the youth park. We supposed to meet another hiker fellows but because we are late reaching the meeting point then They went up first. Only two of us are hiking. To avoid lost in the jungle :) hehehe.. I prefer the common paths or just follow another hiker fellows. The plan is working, event we are both but we meet another Chinese hiker that going up together.
First stop no.3.. we passed through. We stopped a while here.. to shoot some photos and a short rest. Next stop no.5.. wow.. look easier.. we already passed by no.5, just took some photos and decided to continue the next stop 39 or 84 directly. I have set in my mind in the beginning that I just want to hike on the half way, until 84 stop.. but I change my mind.. Though it's not bad idea to go further to the top, as my friend never being there yet. There are more beautiful views from the top.
So then we decided to use the tar road/main road as to get faster to reach the top rather than using the jungle tracks. The tar roads seems hard.. and stiffs and a bit boring :) hehhe.. but we keep walking.. slowly slowly and continuously. From 84 it's take less then 40mnts to the top of Penang Hill.. finally.. we are here.. in the Penang Hill.. eventually.. survive at the Hill :) and Welcome dadash at Penang Hill :)
We have a look around the hills, the temples, the mosques, and the surroundings. Always nice and great views from the top. We took some photos.. resting a little bit on the tops. There are some Arabians tourists and Indians who enjoying the Penang Hill's sceneries.
After resting we got ready to get down from the hill.. there is no train service yet operated. So, we have no option unless going down using our foot machines:) Then.. we start our engine.. and going down easily.. easily.. one .. two .. one two.. event hard to stop.. we just follow the steps rhythm down and talking talking.. until we reach the bottom entry just beside the botanical garden..!! then Goodbye Penang Hill.
We are get ready to catch our bus and going back to G'town area to watch the AFF games. Oupsss finally we did it .. see it's work the Dadash's mottos.. slowly slowly and continuously..
A sudden plan to engage in a bit adventurous outdoor at Penang National Park. Our initial plan to visit the monkey beach.. but but.. due to the delay of our arrival and limited time we have, then we decided only to go to Sungai Tekun beach area! It's only about 500meter from the entrance points.. hehehe.. very close.. huh.
So, we passed through the path and easily arrived at.Sg. Tekun.. almost no adventurous at all ;) easy easy.. easy.. :) To create a little bit challenges, on the way back.. Dadash.. suggested to go through the beaches exit. Look fine for me.. then we tried the new exit.. just follow the sea side, jump from one rock to another rock..to reach our entry point.
Well, it's sweating enough!! not bad.. although we spent more time on the bus to reach and back to our place rather than on the Sg. Tekun's spots itself. We only spent less then one hour there.. and prepared to get home. The outdoor will continue as on Sunday we plan to hike the hill.. Penang Hill.. we are coming !! !!
Some Philantropist donate for the iftar - breaking fasting function at the Muslim floating village at Preaek Toael around the biggest lake in Tonle Sap Lake. The way from our village took about 30minutes drive. Again we arrived there almost sunset, the darkness already coming.. unfortunately not so much to see and to tell.
The condition of the floating village housing, look very simple and limited. We did our breaking fasting (Iftar) in one Surau (small mosque) floating on the bank side of the river. A lot of fishes.. vegetables salad and many drinks. Hmmm good food again, the fried hot fishes and rices are always attempted to try first.
After breaking fasting, then taking ablutions.. hmm.. the clean water quiet difficult to find.. limited.. some people took ablutions from the river's water. We finished the function about 1 hour, so on the way back home the road still the same dark.. no so many lamps road around.. only far got some lights for trapping grasshoppers.. (jangkrikkkkk bokkkkkkk) hehehe..
When you enter the arrival gate, you will notice long line of immigration officers sitting in the counters.. So, I'm processing my visa.. go meet the other counter first, fill up the visa form.. and come back again. First line officer asked me to wait at the payment counter just at the end of the line immigration officers sitting. There about 10 officers sitting.. then my passport moving from one officer checking, passover to another officer.. hehehe.. see.. quiet length.. u know.. then goes to the last one.. 20USD please.. eventually I paid and got my stick visa in my passport.. Welcome.. to Phnom Phennnn I told myself.. as did'nt hear that greeting from them.. hehehe.
Now I'm writing this blog from my friends NGO's place - SRMCDO. They are very nice.. They pick me up from the airport PP, then bring me to the Bang Keok Mosque, a big mosque near my guest house where I stayed before. There at the Muslim restorant we have our good fasting breaking and have nice mamamiyah foods there.
After that, we went to his home town called Joy May Tray village in Kandal province. It is about 40km from PP, less than one hour trip, many moslem community there. Unfortunately we arrived at nite, so can't really see the scennery, but I saw some typical poor household without any lights at the home. Because the electric prepared by the generator, where they need to pay.. then no money to pay make the world dark .. dark dark.. I observed one lady carrying the baby in the darkness.. hmmm. They also has big pot for water, some kids taking shower just beside on the road.. hmmm... cool hah...
Then we go to Kampong Thorm, the road no.6 to drive through Seam Reap.. Kampong Thorm city look better. At nite drives not so many things to see, didn't see any temples as well :) hehhee.. and I felt asleep.. on the way to Seam Reap. About 12.30 am we arrived at his place.. then I woke up and sitting a while in the terrace. Looks his economic quiet good, Muslim community in Seam Reap.. much better then in his hometown.. in my observation and as their confirmation also.
At 4pm, we took our late dinner for fasting (sahur meal).. the rice is best.. hot, and got some squids, vegetables, fishes, and beef.. really really good.. and I'm not worried about the "HALAL" mark .. hehehe. So, after praying Shubuh, I did my walking, small jogging until the Seam Reap town, near the Grand Seam Reap hotel parks.. then.. come back.. home. Now about 3hours already I'm online.. I need some rest..
I have my nap about 3hours.. huh huh.. I slept so much like never enough.. huh huh.. I didn't read any journal yet for my Research proposal writing.. aha.. I'm so lazy.. A friend told me, that today we will have our Iftar, breaking fasting meal near small praying room at the floating village.. in Phnom Khorn.. well this will be another blog.. txs..
Now, at LCCA Kuala Lumpur, waiting my flight to revisit Phnom Phem. Just about four months ago I leave Cambodia, and now get ready to have my 2nd visit... See I'm going back :) hehehe.
If before the entrance from Ho Chi Minh - Vietnam, now direct flight Air Asia from KL. I booked the returned flight already. So, I'll see more how is the Phnom Phem airports. A friend from Seam Reap, promise to pick up me in the airport, eventhough I told them that I prefer to do by myself.. But They already in Phnom Phem, It's about 7km to the airport, so I think it's not nice also to reject the invitation.
Well, my flight another 40minutes more.. I think I need to off till here.. I'm still thinking how can I contribute for my friend's small NGO.. How can I help them, from what I heard that they need some fund raising programs.. hmmm... a kind of not easy work.. if any blogger want to share.. or got any information regarding the donor, funding that I can make further contact.. kindly provide your comment here.. especially for Seam Reap areas. Thank you.. Welcome back to Kampuchea Kam... welcome.. and have a pleasant stay.. there.. Cheers.
I Have clear in my mind now for my purpose trip to Cambodia. I have some target things to do and accomplish there. I'm hesitate, and very very dubious that I can complete them, as it must be accommpanied with more heads and hands. If only one man show, I don't believe it will work.
So, I tried already to prepare things that possible I can contribute during 'friends without borders' visit there. It will be 4 days remaining before revisit Seam Reap. This time visit not only for holiday.. but plenty of things in my head I need to do there. I even keep aside about my own writing for my research proposal. I believe I can do reading, reading and reading there later and start to think the research problem I would to develope in the future.
I have sent my friends the assessment form of household poverty, to find out some background of poor people there. How is their inflow and outflow, in order to find them the suitable livelihood program as their condition and capacity. While we had this small poverty database for 20 up to 50 households, next we would try to promote them online in blogs etc for "friends without borders" for whoever philantropist and has something to contribute to them.
Yes, we will try to posting the poor profils through online.. a 24 hours promotion, without borders, and the most convenience way to distribute the information.. hmmm..hmmm Hardly though..How am I going to encourage the bloggers to react and do something for them .. hmmm.. I am thinking.. it's not easy work.. but I think worth it to try.. yes.. let's us try..
SO, I told my friends that assessment for discussion/draft.. if they agreed so we can do the next step.. we will discuss further on YM.. see this all computers stuffs very usefull..just be online and get ready to discuss.. hehehe.. right.. rite.. right..
Well okay, we will see.. I'm counting my times to visit Cambodia again.. from Cambodia will go to Bali, just for one or two weeks.. Hhmmm.. Bali is Paradise.. Bali will be always be Heaven for travellers.. hehehe.. Welcome to Phnom Phen, Seam Reap - Kampong Cham - Seam Reap - Phnom Phen and KL and Denpasar and Jakarta... Anyone to Joint? Please let me know.. cheers..
AHGH... I wish I'm a Robinhood.. so can help the poor to escape from the deprivation gulch. I don't want to get trapped in poverty also due to my complicated and long way thesis.. hehehe. A friend told me that.. you will get poverty trapped incase you finish your study for 4-5 years.. hmmm.. is that true ? or Not ? hehehe.. I don't know for sure..
In one side this passion to help the severe poor people so flame up, another side I have no well equipped to do that. A friends told me It's good, but its not going to be happened.. no no.. hahaha.. they challenged me. Considering all the constraints I have I should be agreed with them.. and say thank you.. THANK YOU.. thank you..
Yes, I wisely have make up in my mind that I'll discontinue to do research related with the hardcore poor society. So, I told my Hero and Heroin already about my decision, inform them through email.. I told them that I'm in confusing, and in dilemma and had made early decision about that.
My plan to have trip in Cambodia remain the same, only I'm not going to do research on the severe poor, no.. not.. touching them at all.. maybe :) hmmm.. but I still need to visit my friend with his NGO there, and see If I can contribute something with my capacity then i need to be always remember that I'm not a Robinhood.. no.. not at all.. I felt a bit disappointed sorry now for the better later.. I hope.. Insya Allah..
I suppose not to blame anyone including myself. I felt that my passion for my research study extinguised. I know nothing, nowhere, I lost track of what I'm trying to find out. I keep reading my draft DRAFT research paper to get clear pictures of my research problem.. but still huh HUH HUH, .. blur .. blury.. still confusing to myself.
Ahggg..what is wrong with ME ? The discussion with the two hero and heroin still refresh in my mind. Both are willing to help me, as their student. Expect me to go to the right path of my study, so I can complete my study on time. Inspite of both of them hold their own principles and aproach.
Don't be so much idealist and magnanimous in your study, it's not a student's jobs to do an action research, as they are costly and need long process. Those action research mostly doing by NGOs, fund raising etc. For you as student, you may provide your recommendation in a few pages only out of your hundreds Thesis pages later. She rise up her objection for this action research model. If you want to do philantrophic job, then you can either wait after you finish your PhD or if your passion is really burning to help those then, quit your PhD, join an NGOs and focus your heart and soul there.
The contrary with the Hero comments about the action research, well this is practical research. You may live with the hardcore poor people in the rural, stay with them for a week and make your observation, your study about their inflow and outflow, then you only be able to understand their situation and find out solution to help them out of the poverty trap. This process will take many years, to assess the poor situation while the microfinancing already help them.. analyse the poor performance and so on .. and so on.. so ON.. hmmm Eventually you present your finding and analysis on the VIVA that will support you a lot.. Nobody will inquiry you.. the study mixed up in your blood, your passion, so easy for you to tackle the show.
I analyze his option methodology, not as easy as I think. Lot of resources needed. I agreed that it will give a clear and significant impact for the poor, but with the all limitations I have.. wisely I decided to push away my ambition and passion to find the other models.
I do understand their reasons and concern, so I need to go to the right path of my study, that until know I still has blurry direction. Hmm.. I need to do alot of Iqro Iqro.. Iqro again.. and study myself about the research research methodology etc. I though no wonder got some students spents many years for their PhD study.. as It's not as easy as I think.. BE SMART...fellow..
Interesting conversation I have with my neighbor this morning. He is a 66 years Indian man, working as Marketing Manager at hospital line.
I come to his room for the purpose of to storage some of my clothing, plastic cabinets and books in his room. As, I'll discontinue my rental for a month to go to Cambodia for my small research.
He ask me a lot of things about my study, and explain a lot of things as well. He is a kind of talkative, matured, and knowledgeable man. His English very clear, fluent and easy for me to catch. Even though he is just a DME - Diploma in Medical Engineering, but in this matters proven that his education level doesn't related with wide knowledge, though he has. From the questions he asking me, his though and comments I can see that clearly, that he has brain and smart. I'll try to explore further his knowledge, and experiences for this 10days I have in Penang.
For him, no problem I can put my stuffs in his room as storage. I said thank you, It is nice talking with him and some other time I'll talk further with him to discussion about anything..
I explained to him about my research project in Cambodia related with the poor community and sustainable livelihood approach. I express my passion and interest to do that research for my PhD. He asked a lot, my background, How and Why I'm interested in that poor, the benefit will I have.. hmmm.. hmm... and the bold question regarding How and who will back up you to do all this things ? He made me hesitate.. with smile.. and not as confident as the way he rise answer and question.. I said the G O D .. the GOD.. Insya Allah........
It's not time to make a change just relax take it easy you are still young that's your fault that's so much you have to know
Find the girl, settle down, if you want you can marry look at me i'm old but i'm happy
I was once like you are now, and i know that's not easy to be calm, when you found something going on take your time think a lot think of every thing u got for you will be still here tomorrow but your dreams may not
how can i try to explain when i do he turns away again it's always in the same same old story from the moment i could talk i was ordered to listens Now,
there is a way,and I know that I have to go away I know I have to go
It's not time to make a change just sitdown take it slowly you are still young, that's your fault that's so much to have to go through
find the girl settle down if you want you can marry look at me, I am old but i'm happy
All the time that i cried keeping all the things i knew inside It's hard but it's harder to ignore it If they were right I'd agree but it's them you know not me Now there is a way and I know that I have to go away
Still can smile yeah, I'm asking myself, after having destructive talk with my important person from the school. He said I'm screaming.. ahgggggggg.. don't know..the communication running so bad.. He even successfully make me feeling down.. Down.. DOWN..thought I have make wrong decision to study here.. hmmm... capekkkkkkk dehhh..
He even doesn't like to discuss further, He told me that I'm making the wrong channels to express the issue... and moving out to his door. A sign to let me out from the room, without having any answer for my questions.. hahaha.. Welcome to the Jungle.. K... so, what should you do ? Yeah, ofcourse I am moving out, and shake his hands, answering his bye..
Forget it.. cancell cancell FORGET it.. there is always thousands path to ROMA, yeah.. I'm entertain myself. I want to have a real scream.. go to the jungle.. but I'm so weak.. to scream.. This fasting Ramadhan become my weapon to keep patience.. be patience.. Kam......... come on.. go to jungle.. shoot it.. scream.. so the world will loughing with you.. hahaha..
I really want to forget this meeting, its make me headache.. and increase my temperature.. ohhhh should i go to Clinic... no need though it's all in your mind set. Just forget it.. simply.. forget it.. think positive, and go for you goal as you can.. don't let this useless discussion destruc you.. think think THINK man.. what things he react like that?
Put myself in his position? Will I react the same when I said that "The school of social in my case, my personal point it's not really "friendly" social in Nature." no friendly... I said it's not really social in nature.. and that's my personal opinion..
That "friendly" social come from his explanation.. yeah.. He catch what I mean.. then maybe rise his ego as important person in the school when heard my comment. I don't know if I'll do the same, if I heard that later from my students.. hmmm.. don't know.. I really don't know...... but for sure.. I'll note myself.. that I'll not behave like that.. I'll try to listens.. listen.. LISTEN...... and try to find a way to solve any problems.. You are make the wrong channels.. man.. so, will you tell me the correct channell I need to to do, please...
Okay.. I'm fine, I'm Good.. Alhamdulillah.. those all things should make me stronger and full of bullets to survive in this jungle.. okay.. mate.. Welcome to the Jungle.. be ready.. be alert.. if you wanna be survive.. don't wild.. behave, calm, focust.. have plan..A, B, C, D till Z.. hehehe.. this fun.. FUN FUN FUN.. this USEFUL USEFULL USEFULL.. this POSITIVE POSITIVE. POSITIVE.. well.. welcome to the jungle.. Kamal............. I sigh myself.. jungle .. jungle.. Welcome to the jungle :)
His voice trembles. “ I accepted to married Puspita Kirana binti Anwar Daud with the bride price, CASH.” And his face look a bit pale, how longer he sleep last night? Does he awake many hours in the night thinking about the biggest joke, just like my though all over that nite.
Small tears fell down from my mom’s eyes, with her smiling face. Idan’s mom observe all this marriage on her wheelchair happily. I should be happy as well today. Idan also and the visitors, but I should be happy.
Not carefully to jet down just like a scientific: my feelings, the guests reaction, the flavor of jasmine and the clan headman face. The clan headman asked me to shake my new husbands hands. Simulation Upit, don’t forget it. A simulation new husband. His arms feeling cold, with his strange expression. Both his eyes are bright, when I saw his face after kissing his arm. Then both of us sitting side by side listening to the clan headman advices. Idan nodded seing his white pantaloon and my eyes stick on my batik’s fabric.
Finally bravely I whispering him. “You look so pale.” “I am hungry. No breakfast this morning.” “Too much nervous?” “Wake up late. I watched football till morning.” I’m smilling. .”How I did before?” He is whispering “Very impressive. How long you practice?”. Just while I’m wearing my clothes this morning, the notes you are given getting wet with my pants. Ah, Idan, Idan. Married with him, will never get bored. Simulation. Simulation married with him will not getting bored. I corrected. My first three days as Idan’s simulation wife passed by in my own house. The next other three days will be at Idan’s house, due to his mother conditions that sick longer. On the seven days we move to Idan’s house, after moving and arranging some stuffs, furniture, and curtain, that nite we passed by sleeping.
The next morning, I awake because I heard some noisy in the kitchen. I have found there Idan cooking the omelet, while on the tables ready the fried rice and an attempted coffees.
“I have meeting on seven thirty.” He said while turning out his omelet. “I should move before five thirty.” I taste the fried rice he made. “I never know you cook well.” “Scout boy” Idan smiling with his comment. He put the eggs on the table and he sit for breakfast. “I also expert in roping, and sewing.”
”Trust, I trust you. If you want to handle the cook, I’ll repair the water tap and leaking ceiling as well as cutting the grass. Idan laughing. “This is just once in a while Pit. I’m not possible to cook every morning.”
”Me as well. We need to find a servnant.” ”Don’t,” Idan shaking his head. “The servant must be suspicious if seing us sleeping in separate room.” ”So?” Idan scratching his head. “Can you cook rice everyday?” he request.”I have rice cooker.” I look at his face. Inside my hearth I think, Should I? ”It’s just a simulation. Don’t he would be stubborn later on if I obey his order? But in another side, If I really wanted to feel as a real wife, maybe I should follow his request. “Incase you want to bring the fish and vegetables in switch with me, it’s fine.” Idan laughing and moving from his table and back with a red ballpoint. He round up today date which hanged on the kitchen wall. “First day we come into problem solving with family discussion he said, while he is sitting back in his chair. ”There are some more details like this we need to agreed on,” He continued. “For example, I want you to tell me, if you are going home late.” I made wringkle on my forehead. “What for?” “Don’t you reported to your parents if you are coming home late?” ”I shake my head. “My mom trust me that I can take care myself and would not doing something stupid.” “But I’m your husband. Yes, simulated. But I need to know why, and where are you if you are coming late.” “You sounds like a dictator.” “Thought I don’t request that much.” “This one too much for me.” “Idon put his spoon and look at me with his sharp eyes. I forgot when was the last time I saw him angry. But I’m sure I’m not wrongly understand his behavior.
This time he is really really angry. “Remember,” I said carefully. “I am not really your wife. You don’t have a right to order me like that.” He bow his head quiet longer, he fisting his hand, and his fingers getting whiter, and the kitchen becomer quieter. “Fine, if that’s what you want.” He said later. We continue the breakfast in silence. I would like to say that I never think that this game will make my friendshif with Idan will get worse. But I scare to express that. I am sure Idan will get more upset for that question.
Idan leaving the table without saying anything and go to room and get ready to go to his office. Later he see me again in the dining room. “I am living, Pit,” he said colder. I move from the table try to approach him, my intention to make the situation better. Some of my friend suggested this,”
The anxious feeling, guilty and sullen mixed in my breast. I understand Idan has sacrifice a lot for this game. But eventhough I am seriously want to learn how to be good wife, I need to admit that I’m not getting use to think that Idan as my husband. For me, he is just still a friend. And a friend can’t expect too much.
My eyes stick on the small gold ring that put on by Idan on my ring finger after the married. This all just a game I said, but in this simulation Idan is my husband. And as my husband, I considered his request is normal. If I just don’t like directly with his limitation, it’s just a first lesson from this game. I close my eyes and healing deeply. I hate failure. But this time I’m giving in, not defeated. I will learn one thing from all this things. How to put aside my ego and promote togertheness. Bitter really..I am sure Idan will loughing on me. If he is not just upsite in the beginning.
Penulis: Novia Stephani Writer : Novia Stephani Pemenang I sayembara mengarang cerber femina 2003 The first winner of continuos writing of Femina 2003
"Aku sungguh-sungguh tidak mengerti kenapa orang harus "I don't really understand why people need to get married," my grumble. menikah," gerutuku.
Idan tertawa. "Ibumu menanyakan calonmu lagi?" Idan laughing. " Your mom Asking about your potential husband again?"
Aku mengangguk cemberut. I nod my head morosely.
"Apa jawabanmu kali ini?" godanya. "What is your answer this time?" he tease me.
"Aku tidak menjawab. Aku langsung meninggalkan ruang makan dan masuk ke kamar."" I don't give any answer. I run away to my bedroom and leave the dining room.
"Habis jawaban apalagi yang mesti kuberikan, Dan? Aku sudah kehabisan alasan, kehabisan stok bohong. Dan ibuku malah makin gencar menteror." What other answer I need to tell her, Dan? I have no more excuse, my lying stocks completed.
Idan tersenyum. "Kau benar-benar seperti anak-anak. Kalau kau jadi ibumu, apa kau tidak akan blingsatan kalau anakmu belum juga menikah pada usia tiga puluh tiga." Idan smiling. "You really like a kid. If you become your mother, don't you wriggling seing your thirty three ages doughter not married yet". "Aku akan sangat gembira kalau anakku tidak menikah seumur hidupnya," komentarku. I'll spiritly lively happy if my doughter not married evermore," my comment.
Alis Idan terangkat. "Kenapa?" o Idan lifting his eyebrow. "WHY ?"
"Pernikahan hanya memperumit hidup perempuan." o Married just make female live complicated."
"Pernikahan juga membuat hidup laki-laki lebih sulit."o Married also make males live harder."
"Persis!" potongku. "Untuk apa menikah kalau yang kita o EXACTLY.. I said. "What is married for, if we only found trouble?" dapat hanya kesulitan?"
"Mungkin karena kesulitan itu hanya efek sampingnya, sementara keuntungannya lebih banyak?" o "Perhabs the complication just the side effect, meanwhile getting more benefits?"
"Sok tahu," cibirku. "Kau sendiri belum menikah. Apa yang kau tahu tentang keuntungan menikah." o Pretend knowing u my disdain. "You, alone not married. What do you know about the advantage of Married."
"Aku sudah cukup banyak belajar, Pit. Umurku sendiri sudah tiga puluh lima, kebanyakan teman-temanku sudah berkeluarga." o I learn a lot Pit. My age itself already thirty five years, most of my friends already have their own family."
"Tapi kau tidak! Akui sajalah. Kau setuju kan kalau hidup sudah cukup pelik tanpa perlu lagi menikah?"
Idan tersenyum. "Ya, memang." o "BUT you are not! Just admit it. You agree rite without married, that hard live is already exist?". Idan smiling. "Yes, it is."
"Lebih enak hidup seperti ini. Bebas!" o Live like this more enjoyable. We are FREE!
"Setuju. Tapi ingat, aku bukan sama sekali tidak mau menikah, lho. Aku hanya masih menunggu calon yang pas.".
Dan aku menghela nafas panjang. "Ah, ya. Calon." o "AGREE. But remember, doesn't mean I don't want to get married at all. I just waiting for the right candidate." And I'm having long healing. "Ah, yes.. candidat."
"Itu kan sebenarnya alasanmu untuk tidak juga menikah?" o"That's only your excuse for not going Married?"
"Ya," gumamku enggan. o "Yes," I mutter willingly.
"Bukan karena kau sama sekali anti menikah."o Not at all due to you are anti Married
Aku menggeleng. "Jangan bilang siapa-siapa, tapi kadang-kadang aku kepingin juga digandeng seseorang saat datang ke pesta." o I shake my head. "Dont tell anybody, but sometimes I also want to go to the party with coupled together where I can hold their hands."
"Tapi kau bisa saja bergandengan dengan salah satu pacarmu kan?" o "But you can easily hold one of your lovers hand rite?"
"Gandengan pacar itu lemah. Gampang putus," komentarku pahit. "Maksudku, aku mau orang yang sama menggandeng tanganku ke mana pun aku pergi." o The lovers grasp is weak, easily break," bitterly I comment. "I mean, I want the same persons who hold my hands wherever I go."
"Apa susahnya menggaji orang yang mau menggandeng tanganmu ke mana-mana? Ini zaman susah. Banyak pengangguran." o"Is not it easy to pay somebody who are willing to hold your hands anywhere? It's a hard time. There are plenty of jobbless around.
"Idan!" kuayunkan tanganku, tapi --begitu hapalnya ia dengan reaksiku--ia menghindar sambil tertawa. o"Idan!", I try to hit him, but he is so familiar with my reaction, and loughing avoiding my smackdown.
"Kau sadar kan kalau menikah itu lebih dari sekadar mengontrak penggandeng tetap?" tanyanya kemudian,lebih serius. o Do you aware that married is not just to lease a permanent connector? She asked later, seriously.
"Ya. Justru itu. Aku tidak bisa membayangkan menikah dengan orang yang salah. Kalau saja," aku terdiam.o Yest. That's why. I can't imagine to get married with the wrong person. If only," I silenced
"Apa?" o"WHAT"
"Kalau saja aku bisa yakin bahwa lelaki itu akan tetap manis dan baik hati setelah ia berhasil menikahiku.o"If only I'm asure that the man who successfully married me still kindly react and behave sweetly to me."Bagaimana seorang perempuan bisa tahu kalau lelaki yang merayunya ternyata suami yang payah? Yang suka memukuli, mencaci maki, Menghina; orangnya pelit, cemburuan, suka berbohong dan berkhianat." oHow do the females know that the man who flirting them actually are horrible husband? the one that like to hit, cuising, miserly, suspicious, deceitful and betrayal."
"Pit, laki-laki yang begitu sedikit sekali." o"Pit the man you express is very little."
Aku menggeleng. "Semua laki-laki binatang."o I shake my head. "All man is beast"
"Bagaimana dengan aku? Aku laki-laki." o "What about me? I am a man."
"Kau bukan lelaki, Dan. Kau malaikat." o "You are not man, Dan. You are an angle."
Idan terbelalak. Didekapnya dada kirinya dan ia terkulai di kursinya. o Idan distended. He is clasping his left breast and drooped in his chair.
"Idan!" desisku. "Nanti orang-orang memperhatikan kita!" o"Idan!" I'm hissing. "Later peoples will notice us.!"
"Pit, kau sadar kalau aku belum mati? Aku harus mati dulu sebelum jadi roh dan mengajukan lamaran menjadi malaikat," dan ia kembali terkulai, mata tertutup,lidah terjulur.o"Pit, do you realize that I'm not dead? I should dead first then my soul will apply to be an Angel," and he continue drooped, closed his eyes with protruded tounge.
"Idan, Idan," desahku. "Kalau kau memang mau menikah,berobatlah." o"Idan, Idan," my sigh ."If you really want to get married, having treatment."
Ia tergelak. "Dan kau. Kalau kau memang mau menikah, percayalah setidak-tidaknya pada satu orang saja dari golongan laki-laki." o He is loughing. "And you as well. If you really want to get married, give your trust atleast to one among the men.
"Aku tidak bisa, Dan." o I can't Dan"
"Berarti kau memang tidak bisa menikah. Tidak mungkin dan tidak akan. Dan kalau kau memaksakan diri, kau akan merana. Dan kalau kau sengsara kau akan makan makin banyak. Dan kalau kau makan banyak-banyak kau akan."o That's explained that you can't get married. Impossible, and will never ever. And if you force yourself you will long distressed. And you will eat more.. and more.. and if you eat more and more.. you will.."
"Idan!" walaupun nada suaraku keras, aku tak bisa menahan senyum mendengar pernyataan konyol itu.makin banyak. o"Idan!" eventhough my voice harder, I can't stand to smile hearing his silly statements.
Setelah dua puluh tahun menjadi sahabatku, ia benar-benar telah memahamiku. oBeing my friend for 20years, he is really understand me.
"Apa kau pernah berpikir tentang ibumu?" katanya kemudian. Seperti biasa ia bisa menjadi sangat jenaka dan kemudian serius hanya dalam selang waktu sepersekian detik. "Ia pasti sangat ingin kau segera mendapat pasangan tetap. Ia akan lebih tenang kalau tahu kau akhirnya punya seseorang yang akan menemani dan melindungimu." o Did you ever think of your Mom? He asked further. Just like usual he can be very funny and serious just in a seconds. "She must be very expected that you will find your future husband. She will be peacefull if she found out that you have somebody with you to accompany and protect you."
"Jangan bicara begitu," cetusku, kembali manyun. o "Don't say like that," I spark
"Satu, ini hidupku, bukan hidup ibuku. Aku sedih kalau ibuku sedih. Tapi kalau suamiku berkhianat, apa ibuku mau menanggung rasa malu dan sakit hatiku? Kedua, aku tidak butuh pelindung. Kau tahu aku bisa mengurus diriku sendiri. Kalau itu yang aku butuhkan, aku bisa menggaji lebih banyak pembantu, plus bodyguard kalau perlu." o"One, this is my live, not my mom's live. I'm sad if my mom sad. But if my husband betrayed me, will my mom feel my broken heart and bashful? Secondly, I don't need a hero. You knew that I'm independent. If that's what I need, I can hire more assistant and bodyguard as well if needed.
"Baik, baik, Tuan Putri. Hamba mengaku salah," Idan membungkuk dalam-dalam. "Jadi, dengan asumsi kau tidak sama sekali menihilkan kemungkinan menikah, apa yang ingin kau capai dengan itu?" o"fine, fine, my princess, I admitted wrong," Idan bend over down. "So, assumption that you will be never get married, what will you reach with that?"
Aku tertunduk lemas. "Itulah, Dan," desahku. "Aku tidak tahu. Apalagi yang aku butuhkan saat ini? Aku punya pekerjaan dengan masa depan yang lumayan. Jadi menikah untuk alasan ekonomi jelas-jelas bukan pilihan untukku. Aku punya teman-teman diskusi, sahabat untuk berbagi, jadi kesepian juga bukan alasan bagiku untuk menikah." o I bowed weakly. "That's the matter Dan," I spark. "I don't really know, what do I need for this time being? I have wonderful careers and future. So, married for economic reasons exactly not my purpose. I have some friends to share and discuss with, so being lonely is not the reason as well for me to get married."
"Bagaimana dengan keturunan?" o"What about descendant?"
"Anak? Apa aku harus menikah untuk punya anak? Aku bisa mengadopsi bayi, kan? Di luar sana banyak anak-anak yang tidak diinginkan orang tuanya. Kalau aku mau, aku bisa mengasuh satu, dua atau bahkan tiga dari mereka. Jadi tolong, jelaskan kenapa aku harus menikah, mempertaruhkan diriku sendiri, mengambil risiko dilukai lahir dan atau batin. Tak ada kepastian sama sekali bahwa pernikahan itu akan bertahan sepanjang hidupku. Di samping itu, kalau pernikahan itu hancur di tengah jalan, aku akan jadi pihak yang paling besar menanggung kerugian. Kenapa, Dan? Untuk apa?"
o"Children? Should I married to get children? I can have my adoption children rite? Plenty of unwilling children out there. If I want it, I can take care one, two or even three of them. So, please. explained me, why should I got married, to jeopardize and risk myself, phisiqally and mentally. Instead of if my marriage fail, I'll become more harmfull. Why, Dan? for What ?
Idan termenung agak lama. Akhirnya ia menjawab. "Cinta mungkin?" o Idan silenced for a while, and finally answerred. "Love, perhaps?"
"Kau terlalu banyak menonton film romantis," olokku. o "Ahg, you watched so many romantic movies," teasing me.
"Kau tahu berapa lama cinta bertahan dalam suatu pernikahan?" o"Do you know how long lasting the love in a marriage?"
"Berapa lama?" o" For how long?"
"Satu sampai tiga bulan. Setelah itu, toleransi, kompromi, frustrasi dan imajinasi." o "one up to three monhts. After that, tolerance, compromize, frustration and imagination."
"Imajinasi?" o "Imagination?"
"Kalau kau terjebak di dalam penjara dengan lelaki yang kau benci sekaligus yang kau tahu membencimu, kau harus membayangkan menikah dengan Richard Gere atau
kau bisa jadi gila." o"If you get trapped in the jail with the man that you hate that you found he has same hate feeling with you, you should imagine married with Richard Gere or you may be insane."
"Astaga," gumam Idan. "Kalau itu terjadi padaku, siapa menurutmu yang harus kubayangkan? Michelle Pfeiffer atau Nicole Kidman?" o "Oh My God" Idan muttered. "If those happened to me, who you think should i imagine? Michelle Pfeiffer or Nicole Kidman?"
"Gorila," jawabku sekenanya dan Idan meledak tertawa. o "Gorilla," my easy answer and Idan loughing hardly.
"Idan," keluhku. "Berhentilah tertawa. Aku bukan pelawak. Aku sedang membicarakan masalah serius, dan aku sebal kau tertawai terus menerus." Wajahnya serta-merta menjadi serius. "Aku tidak
menertawaimu. Kalau kau benar-benar sahabatku, kau tahu beginilah aku menyikapi semua masalah, yang tergenting sekalipun. Termasuk soal menikah. Cobalah.Kau akan merasa jauh lebih baik. Kalau ibumu
menanyakan calonmu sekali lagi, tertawalah. Tertawalah keras-keras."
o Idan," I said. Stop loughing. I'm not a joker. I am talking serious matters, and I am irked with your continous loughing. Then his face suddenly change into serious look. I'm not loughing on you. If you really my friend, you will understand this is the way I'm overcome all the problems, eventhough the critical one. Including about the marriage. Try it you will feeling much better. In case your mother asking about your further husband again, loughing.. Loughing loudly."
"Idan, kau benar-benar tak tertolong lagi," gumamku. o "Idan, you really really unrescue," I sight.
"Aku perlu solusi, Dan. Bukan ide-ide konyol." o "I need solution, Dan, not your silly idea"
Idan membisu. Dan untuk beberapa waktu kami berdua sama-sama merenung. o Idan silenced, and for some minutes, we both in silenced.
Akhirnya, Idan bicara dengan hati-hati. "Pit, aku tahu ini akan kedengaran gila. Tapi dengar dulu. Aku rasa saranku ini bisa menyelesaikan kedua masalahmu.o Finally, Idan talk carefully. "Pit, I know it's sounds crazy. But listen first. I though this idea may solve both of your problem.
Pertama, ketidakpercayaanmu pada ras laki-laki. Kedua, ketidakmengertianmu kenapa kau butuh seorang suami." o First, your lack of confidence for the Male gender, and second, your misunderstanding of why do you need a husband."
Aku mengangguk, dalam hati bersiap-siap untuk mempertahankan mimik seriusku walaupun ide yang akan dilontarkan Idan nantinya ternyata kelewat sinting dan karenanya teramat sangat kocak.
"Sebelumnya, aku ingin tanya satu hal, dan ini sangat sangat penting, jadi aku perlu jawaban terjujurmu. Apa kau percaya kepadaku?" o I nodded, inside I need to be defense my serious look, even I belived his idea later on will sounds silly and fun. "First of all, I want to know one thing, and this thing is very important, so, I need your honest answer. Do you believe on me ?"
Kutatap Idan dengan dahi berkerut. Ia telah jadi sahabatku selama puluhan tahun. Banyak yang berubah dalam hidupku, dan setidaknya enam lelaki telah hadir dan menghilang dari hidupku. Hanya Idan yang tak berganti. Ia seakan-akan selalu siap mengulurkan tangan menolongku, sementara sense of humor-nya tak pernah gagal membantuku keluar dari depresi yang paling parah sekalipun. Kalau ada satu laki-laki di dunia yang kuhadapi dengan skeptisisme nyaris nol,hanya Idan orangnya.o I looked Idan with folded brow. He becomes my good friends for many years. Many changes in my live, and atleast six special men already come and go through my live. Just Idan still maintain. He always ready to help me, and his sense of humour never be failed to take me out from the worst depression at all. If there is a man in this world that with less of sceptisme is just him.. Idan is the one.
"Ya. Aku percaya kepadamu." o "Yes, I do belive you."
"Kalau begitu, percayalah bahwa yang kulakukan ini semata-mata untuk kebaikanmu. Percayalah bahwa aku sama sekali tidak memiliki niat jahat terselubung di balik ideku ini. Percayalah." o "If soo, please trust me that whatever I do is for your own benefit. Believe me that, I never had bad intention behind my idea. Just Trust me."
"Idan!" potongku tandas. "Ide apa?" o"Idan!" I interrupted. "What's Idea?"
"Aku ingin mengajakmu mengadakan sebuah eksperimen," ia bicara dengan hati-hati, kedua matanya terpancang pada ekspresi wajahku. "Kita akan melakukan pernikahan."
o"I would like to bring you into expriment," He speak carefully, his eyes straight into my expression."We are going to get married."
"Apa?" o"WHAT"
"Simulasi!" lanjut Idan sesegera mungkin. "Tentu saja lengkap dengan semua formalitasnya, lamaran, akad nikah, kalau perlu honey moon.." o "Simulation!" he continued fastly. " Ofcourse completed with all the formality, propose, and married as well as honeymoon if necessary.."
"Bulan madu?" o "Honeymoon"
Idan mengangkat tangannya menyuruhku diam, "Simulasi. o Idan raise his hands ask me to be quiet, "Simulation."
Sekali lagi, simulasi. Setelah itu kita akan menjadi suami istri --simulasi-- sambil mempelajari kenapa kebanyakan manusia yang normal dan waras begitu berambisi untuk berumah tangga. Kalau pada akhir eksperimen kau merasa yakin bahwa kerugiannya tidak sebanding dengan keuntungannya, kita bercerai dan kau bisa hidup lajang, merdeka selama-lamanya. Kalau ternyata kau kecanduan hidup sebagai istri, kita bercerai dan kau bisa cari suami yang paling cocok untukmu. Anggaplah ini Sebagai tes untuk melihat apa kau akan memilih menikah atau tidak. Tanpa komitmen,
tanpa penalti. Bagaimana?"
o One more Simulation. After that we will be husband and wife -- simulation -- also to study why mostly normal and common people so ambitious to get married. If eventually you experiences more disadventages than the benefits, we divorce, and you can be single, freedom forever. Otherwise if you like to live as a wife, we divorce also and you can find suitable husband for you. Just think that as a testing to know if you choose to be married or not. No commitment, no penalty. What do you think ?"
"Idan," desisku. "Ini ide terbodoh yang pernah kudengar." o "Idan, this is the most silly idea, I have heard."
"Semua gagasan jenius selalu diolok-olok pada awalnya," sanggah Idan mantap. "Pikirkan, Pit. Ini satu-satunya cara supaya kita bisa belajar seperti apa pernikahan itu sebenarnya tanpa perlu sungguh-sungguh menikah. Kau tidak mungkin melakukannya dengan laki-laki selain aku, yang telah terbukti memiliki sifat ksatria, dapat dipercaya dan teguh pendirian.." o "All genious idea always starting with ridiculously," He firmly argue."Think, Pit. This is the only way for us to learn what the marriage is without having the real marriage. It's impossible for you to do that except with me, that proven as gentlemen, trusted and firm.."
"Serius, Idan, serius!" o "serious, Idan, be serious"
"Dan kau sama sekali tidak melakukan pengorbanan apa pun. Kau tidak akan mengalami kerugian apa pun."
"Kecuali jutaan yang harus keluar untuk biaya pernikahan.." o "And, you almost not doing any sacrificing, no losing at all, except for some million for the married ceremony."
"Simulasi," Idan mengingatkan sambil mengangkat telunjuk. o "Simulation," Idam, recalled that by rising his pointer finger.
"OK. Pernikahan simulasi," geramku. "Dan aku akan menyandang status janda setelah kita bercerai."
"Simulasi." o OK. Simulation Married. I sight "And, I'm the one who will bear the widow status after we divorce."
"Idan!" o "Idan"
"Upit!" o "Upit"
"Oh, Tuhan," aku bangkit dengan marah dan beranjak keluar. Idan segera menjejeriku.
"Upit, kau tidak perlu semarah ini," katanya. "Apa akusejelek itu di matamu hingga kau bahkan tidak mau pura-pura menikah denganku?" o "Oh My God," I angryly raise up and move out. Soon Idan try to catch me.
Aku berhenti berjalan dan menatap wajahnya. Dan menggeleng. "Biarpun wajahmu seperti bunglonsekalipun, aku akan tetap memujimu di depan perempuan malang manapun yang mencintaimu." o I stop walking and look at his face. "Dan shaking his head. "Eventhough your face similar look with chameleon, I'll keep to admirer you infront of poor ladies who love you."
Matanya berbinar. "Kau tidak marah lagi, kan?" o His eyes being bright. "Aren't you angry more rite ?
Aku menggeleng. "Aku bukan marah karena idemu, Dan. o I shake my head." I am not angry with your idea. Dan"
Aku tahu otakmu memang selalu korslet tiap kali memikirkan jalan keluar dari suatu problem serius. Aku mengerti. Aku hanya kesal karena kau sepertinya tidak peduli dengan masalahku." o I knew your brain always errors while finding the way out for some serious problem. I understand. I just sullen that you sounds not care with my problem.
"Justru karena aku sangat peduli aku mengusulkan ini, Pit," ekspresinya tampak begitu tulus. o "That is because I care of you Pit, so I proposed this idea," with his sincerely expression.
"Terima kasih. Tapi ide itu memuakkan." o "Thank you, but that idea is hated.
"Pikirkan ibumu, Pit. Kalau beliau tahu kau akan segera menikah, denganku, orang yang selama ini dikenalnya sangat baik, sopan, hormat kepada orang tua, ulet, tangguh.," ia berhenti saat melihat raut wajahku, "ibumu akan sangat bahagia, Pit. Pikirkanjuga dirimu." o "Think of your mom Pit. If she found out that you will get married with me, the guy that she knows well, polite, respect with their parents, tenacious, tough.," he is stopping when he saw my expression. "Your mom will be very happy, Pit. Think abour yourself also."
Ia diam sejenak. "Aku janji akan menggandeng tanganmu di setiap pesta. Di mana pun." o I promise will hold firmly your hand at any party, wherenever it's.
Ucapannya begitu menyentuh hatiku hingga aku nyaris menangis terharu. Kalau saja di antara bekas-bekas kekasihku ada yang mengatakan itu kepadaku, aku pasti sudah lama sekali menikah, pikirku sebelum menertawai diri sendiri. Perempuan yang tidak butuh seorang pelindung, tapi haus digandeng tangannya. Aku pasti sama kurang warasnya dengan Idan. o His statements really touching me, tears almost getting down. If only among my exs lovers ever said that to me, I must be already married for long time. I'm thinking before loughing to myself. The females who don't need heroes to protect them, but expecting to get hold on her arms. I believe I'm the same insane with Idan.
"Apa aku harus menciummu?" tanyaku nyaris berbisik.o "Should I kiss you too?" I asked almost whispering..
"Sesekali mungkin, kalau orang tua kita diam-diam mengawasi," matanya kembali tertawa. "Di pipi. Aku tidak akan melewati batas. Kalau kita hanya berdua, kau bebas untuk meninjuku, menjambakku.."
"Idan," teguran itu lebih lembut daripada yang kuinginkan dan Idan tersenyum. o "Once in a while maybe while, our parents watching us," his eyes loughing again. "on my cheek, I will not be out of control. If we both alone, you are free to hit and bunch me.." Idan," that called getting softer that I wanted more and Idan get smiling.
