A crying out - Hitting vs Smiling to ROMA

Proverb said that "many ways to go to ROMA". same as many methodes to release your tension. Up today, I didn't register my study yet, the lucky is I already got my students visa :) so, a little bit entertain for my case that I don't need to go to border to extent my stay in Malaysia... Heheheh.

Anyway, when I kept thinking about my situation some negative thoughs appeared. I questioned myself if I'm coerceing too much myself ? Am I very ambitious ? "without capital Monet --> Modal Nekat. Temporary the answer "Don't know".. I tried to ask a friend - drunker hero, but find the same answer "DON't KNOW" huh.. huh.


That day, I'm still very confusing and upset. I lost my smiling plavour, wrinkles on my faces and so tights face, but luckily not so many people at the "frisbee field". Infact I can't force myself to smile, I have found another methodes. I strongly fist my hands and hit on the air plus the abusive words. Looks this way not helping for me.


I still need to do something to release this pressures. Then I want to hit the earth, but looks like it will painfull myself.. so I cancelled. Inspite of hitting the soil, I'm doing my long shouting in the middle of the football field.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH" long screaming...
This looks fine for a moment. Thought a couple of tourist hear my shouting and try to observe me.. but.. I don't care. I move a little bit further close to the coastal beach.

One, Two, Three.. I command my self.. to make a long yelling...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Again I felt a little bit release..
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH" shrieking again.. I don't care, thought drunkerhero heard my shouting but he keep consentrated with his afternoon exercises. Further continue my shrieking..

I move close to the big tree and crying out:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGG"

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"

"CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"

Sometimes I changed the shouting alphabet, instead of AAAGGG, I used BBBBBBBB, or CCCCCCCCC.. but AAAAAAAAGGGh sounds very loosing and releasing.


Temporarily I felt releases YES, YES, but though I'm shouting too much, worring and thinking so much. It's not good. I'm feeling not well.. a bit warm my head, small fever I thought and now I have problem with my throat. It's dry, and hard to swallow my own saliva..... ahgggg hehehe.. see shouting it's not really good way to go to ROMA for me :)


Well, anyway.. I just though that, perhaps, I am experiences less of rest and eat too much curry and spicy indian foods. So, I try to manage my food, Instead of having curry or other spicy foods. I selected some fresh salad, or clear vegetables with fish. I drank a liquid mixture also for my dry throat problems and drinks water as much as possible.


I promised never ever to do shouting again to go to ROMA :) hehehe, inspite of I just can do swimming to cooldown my head and mind or maybe trying hard to create big smile by remembering some beautiful moments in the lives or dream.. dream.. dreaming for the wonderful live in the future.. God Willing...