Back to U

BACK TO U or Afghan, Afghan or U.. U or Afghan :)

Monday morning, 6-06-11 in the bus, on my way to go back to my university. Am I missing my school? J full of doubts in my mind if I should come again to my humanity school which is for me not really human friendly.. L.. hmm I am questioning myself again if I’m ready to meet them, the dean, deputy, my supervisors, my friends etc JLet’s see. Though I’m not ready,No.. not ready yet! I don’t have enough supplied to answer them. I’m still in the bus approaching soon my school.

I wonder to know, what is my studentship status now, am I still one of their problematic student? I really want to know, as up to now I have no any single email that remind me about my status. My student visa already expired, and I’m not paying for the fees! J should I expect more ? Hmmm I really have no idea! That’s why, I should come and find out more the info, just don’t put high my expectation, as I get through all of this issue already.. so yeah don’t expect too much that my school will like to find some ways to help me! Don’t even dare to dream about that!..hmmm

I’m getting closer, so I’ll see my university doctor first, make appointment for continuous medical treatment, then I’ll go to IPS to check my research grants status and finally doing my counselling with the student affairs.

12 noon, I completed seeing my doctor and IPS personnel to talk about my grants research.. everything fine.. the doctor said my blood pressure normal and the hearth beat rate also fine. She doesn’t recommend further blood testing, until I show her my previous cholesterol result and doctor’s recommendation. Eventually she agreed with me to check up my blood for the cholesterol control. I need to come back tomorrow to do that testing.

I believe things should be okay, I just got a lot of pressure lately and getting full of stress in the lovely Afghanistan. Still I’m not really sure yet if I need to go back to U.. I’ll carefully things about that.. back to U or Afghan.. U or Afghan, Afghan.. Afghan..U.. U.. U Afghan ?? God, sincerely I’m begging you, please help me to choose the best option for me, in between going back to lovely Afghan or to my humanistic school.J I don’t make up my mind yet, STILL!

I'm Not a Robinhood :) Poverty TRAPPED

AHGH... I wish I'm a Robinhood.. so can help the poor to escape from the deprivation gulch. I don't want to get trapped in poverty also due to my complicated and long way thesis.. hehehe. A friend told me that.. you will get poverty trapped incase you finish your study for 4-5 years.. hmmm.. is that true ? or Not ? hehehe.. I don't know for sure..

In one side this passion to help the severe poor people so flame up, another side I have no well equipped to do that. A friends told me It's good, but its not going to be happened.. no no.. hahaha.. they challenged me. Considering all the constraints I have I should be agreed with them.. and say thank you.. THANK YOU.. thank you..

Yes, I wisely have make up in my mind that I'll discontinue to do research related with the hardcore poor society. So, I told my Hero and Heroin already about my decision, inform them through email.. I told them that I'm in confusing, and in dilemma and had made early decision about that.

My plan to have trip in Cambodia remain the same, only I'm not going to do research on the severe poor, no.. not.. touching them at all.. maybe :) hmmm.. but I still need to visit my friend with his NGO there, and see If I can contribute something with my capacity then i need to be always remember that I'm not a Robinhood.. no.. not at all.. I felt a bit disappointed sorry now for the better later.. I hope.. Insya Allah..

My Ambition Extinguished

I suppose not to blame anyone including myself. I felt that my passion for my research study extinguised. I know nothing, nowhere, I lost track of what I'm trying to find out. I keep reading my draft DRAFT research paper to get clear pictures of my research problem.. but still huh HUH HUH, .. blur .. blury.. still confusing to myself.

Ahggg..what is wrong with ME ? The discussion with the two hero and heroin still refresh in my mind. Both are willing to help me, as their student. Expect me to go to the right path of my study, so I can complete my study on time. Inspite of both of them hold their own principles and aproach.

Don't be so much idealist and magnanimous in your study, it's not a student's jobs to do an action research, as they are costly and need long process. Those action research mostly doing by NGOs, fund raising etc. For you as student, you may provide your recommendation in a few pages only out of your hundreds Thesis pages later. She rise up her objection for this action research model. If you want to do philantrophic job, then you can either wait after you finish your PhD or if your passion is really burning to help those then, quit your PhD, join an NGOs and focus your heart and soul there.

The contrary with the Hero comments about the action research, well this is practical research. You may live with the hardcore poor people in the rural, stay with them for a week and make your observation, your study about their inflow and outflow, then you only be able to understand their situation and find out solution to help them out of the poverty trap.
This process will take many years, to assess the poor situation while the microfinancing already help them.. analyse the poor performance and so on .. and so on.. so ON.. hmmm Eventually you present your finding and analysis on the VIVA that will support you a lot.. Nobody will inquiry you.. the study mixed up in your blood, your passion, so easy for you to tackle the show.

I analyze his option methodology, not as easy as I think. Lot of resources needed. I agreed that it will give a clear and significant impact for the poor, but with the all limitations I have.. wisely I decided to push away my ambition and passion to find the other models.


I do understand their reasons and concern, so I need to go to the right path of my study, that until know I still has blurry direction. Hmm.. I need to do alot of Iqro Iqro.. Iqro again.. and study myself about the research research methodology etc. I though no wonder got some students spents many years for their PhD study.. as It's not as easy as I think.. BE SMART...fellow..

The G O D will Back UP

Interesting conversation I have with my neighbor this morning. He is a 66 years Indian man, working as Marketing Manager at hospital line.

I come to his room for the purpose of to storage some of my clothing, plastic cabinets and books in his room. As, I'll discontinue my rental for a month to go to Cambodia for my small research.

He ask me a lot of things about my study, and explain a lot of things as well. He is a kind of talkative, matured, and knowledgeable man. His English very clear, fluent and easy for me to catch. Even though he is just a DME - Diploma in Medical Engineering, but in this matters proven that his education level doesn't related with wide knowledge, though he has. From the questions he asking me, his though and comments I can see that clearly, that he has brain and smart. I'll try to explore further his knowledge, and experiences for this 10days I have in Penang.

For him, no problem I can put my stuffs in his room as storage. I said thank you, It is nice talking with him and some other time I'll talk further with him to discussion about anything..

I explained to him about my research project in Cambodia related with the poor community and sustainable livelihood approach. I express my passion and interest to do that research for my PhD. He asked a lot, my background, How and Why I'm interested in that poor, the benefit will I have.. hmmm.. hmm... and the bold
question regarding How and who will back up you to do all this things ? He made me hesitate.. with smile.. and not as confident as the way he rise answer and question.. I said the G O D .. the GOD.. Insya Allah........

Bye JKT and Welcome Back PNG!

Penang.. Penang.. PNG ---> PENING deh :)

Now I am back to Penang, my desire is very strong.. back to Penang.. continue my study.. a Phd Research huh.. What's a Phd Research mean to me ? Do I made the right choice to go back to study to fill my plenty plenty of time.. hmmm will discuss about this further on my Phd jouneys.

So, here I am. in Penang. I took Airasia flight from JKT to Penang, direct flight about 2hours more journeys.. the cost as it's budget flight still good good price, only about 60USD one way. As soon as I arrived in Penang, I took bus, go to my campuz area and find a rental monthly room for my living. I stayed close to my campuz, only 15-20mnts walk :) hehehe GOOD exercise.

I'm ready ready.. ready.. to study again.. that's why I found place for living just close to my campuz.. eventhough it's not inside the campuz but.. I'm happy enough to have this place, and the rental rate also much cheaper compare to my previous place around penang road.

I am cleaning my simple room, then cleaning myself, next going walk to my campuz to attend the oath taking ceremony for the new students. Welcome to intelectual world my friend.. welcome to the jungle.. :) don't get lost here.. be focus on your path and goodluck with your study.. have spirit in your study my bros and sis.. don't worried and be happy.. I'm trying to entertain and make myself confortable.. hehehe..

After all the official welcoming and oath taking ceremony over, I decided to go to the town - port at Jetty to buy my unlimited Rapid ticket bus.. then walk around chulia street the backpackers areas. See some paints at the Gallery's just nearby to Mesjid Kapitan.. then go to nite market to have a look some stuffs I need for my new rooms... this will be put in another blog.... cheers.

Playing Over - Back Study Yahoooo.com :)

End of the playing time, the begin of studying time :)

Yesterday, we met to play our Frisbee at the same beautiful place "the field of Convent School". It's always nice to have playing the game at fresh outdoor field. We use two Frisbee's disc plates at this time (green and blue) .. wow.. that's more interesting.

Each player need to call other players name to make them alert to catch the discs. We need to be more conscious and focus to catch and throw the discs. About 45mnts we finished the games, I experienced bath sweating as usual and still not get used yet for the nice shoot. hmmm.. I need to practice more, and more.. more.

One of our Frisbee friend will be back travelling to Medan today for a month. So, he leave us his plate disc and also one "cambodian/vietnam's tek tek game" I called that. It's commonly use in rural area in Indonesia last time. While I was kid I did play the game. "Tek Tek" is a set of chicken feather with round skin foundation. The players need to throw it by kick it to other players. Another interesting games, I saw that in Ho Chi Minh and Cambodia some locals play that game beautifully. We will practice that game soon.. :)


I am thinking to finish my pleasure time and back to focus on my study. I have a lot of things to be prepared for my study. I though... Holiday.. over.. playing times finished.. hehehe.. Yeah I need to make my commitment and be discipline to start doing my research.. read read READ, and write write WRITE for my study. Yahoooooo.com... see, how excited I'm to back for my study ;) hehehe.

I intent to spend 8 hours a day for my study.. hmmm.. can I do that ?? Mamamiyah lezato.. ahggggggggg.. Although I already have many journals related with my reseach topics but I'm still feeling lazy to start reading and writing. They all untouchable still ;) Anyway that's my good choice to study back. I need to start soon as long as no more others days to read and write. "Welcome to the Reality Live Show drunkerhero" :) hehehe.

What a nice confident that I have! Okay.. Okay.. I am sure I can do that. I'll start today, 3 May 2010 from 2pm back to study.. spents 8 hours to read the journals, and write :) hahaha.. 8 hours a day again, I doubt ?? I'm still questioning my self. I have negative thinking of the monotous reading of the scientific journals that very hard for me to understand.. oh oh.. miracles.. MIRACLES.. come to me.. please give me a little spirit to understand what the Dr, Professors or other smart educated peoples in this world write in their journals actually.. hehehe. I'm dreaming again, read bro.. READ so you will understand.. Iqro.. Iqro.. no miracles just Iqro.. :)

Well, I decided to have a little break in writing my blog at 10USD journeys though.. and start to write at my study journeys blogspot.. but.. see.. later... with Bismillah.. I am ready to study again.. hmm... can I do that ?? hehehe.. yes You CAN.. yes I CAN.. yes.. All CAN... Insya Allah.

Let's Study for Free

Who said that Study is costly ? Me ME ME .. :)

Not anymore, here in Penang at Malaysian Budhist Association provided free school. It's called "Sekolah Penang Budhist Free".

Myself and drunkerhero visited this free school to get some information there. The school located at Burma Road in Penang. It's not far from our living, only about 20mnts walks.. we love walking here in Penang as the city is less polluted, can see new things along, and healthy as well as no charge ;) I love this 4 alphabets "FREE" rather than "Costly".

The learning conducted at the old building of the school. They have new building just beside called "Malaysian Budhist Institute". While study here you'll feel like study at ancient time :) while everything still classics, such as: using writing chalk, old fashioned chinese teachers, table and chairs made from timbers. All these things recall my memory at my basic school at "SDN 060795" in Medan.. wow.. cool I still remember it :)

We read some information on the information boards, as it's written mostly in Chinese.. we just smile and need to find somebody downstairs. At first floor there is a kind of praying room for the budhist. We find a lady there, and ask the information we need. She said just come at nite, as the free school only operate at nite time start from 7pm. I took some shoot of photos around and the course they offered varied from the languages course : "malaysia, chinese, thai, japanese and english", photography course, saloon and skin care course, computers, flower arrangements etc.

Though, I'll take my photography class there just for fun and to filled up my time. My friend thinking to take languages : English and Japanese as he has dream to be "Expatriate English Teacher" some days.. some times.. some where.. in the future.

Yeah.. Dreaming is always nice, easy and free but Realizing that Dream is a hard Hard efford and survivals. Sometimes paid with blood bathing and tears. hmmm see "gua jadi puitis banget" ---> I become so poetic. Anyway no harm to have dreams. It's beautiful, and make lives more lively.. rite ? RITE ? So, let's start dreaming.. and make it comes true..

Further we leave the free school premises, and find the short cut to go to Gurney drive. We keep walking as it's beatiful weather, and it's nice place to have a walk. They have big pedestrian spots, not so many traffics, many trees at the side and the road flat just beside the beach.... hmmm welcome Gurney Drive.. welcome Gurney Plaza.. want to see what's new there.. movie and other stuff they sale... cuti cuti Malaysia.......