LCCA bye M'sia welcome PP

Now, at LCCA Kuala Lumpur, waiting my flight to revisit Phnom Phem. Just about four months ago I leave Cambodia, and now get ready to have my 2nd visit... See I'm going back :) hehehe.

If before the entrance from Ho Chi Minh - Vietnam, now direct flight Air Asia from KL. I booked the returned flight already. So, I'll see more how is the Phnom Phem airports. A friend from Seam Reap, promise to pick up me in the airport, eventhough I told them that I prefer to do by myself.. But They already in Phnom Phem, It's about 7km to the airport, so I think it's not nice also to reject the invitation.

Well, my flight another 40minutes more.. I think I need to off till here.. I'm still thinking how can I contribute for my friend's small NGO.. How can I help them, from what I heard that they need some fund raising programs.. hmmm... a kind of not easy work.. if any blogger want to share.. or got any information regarding the donor, funding that I can make further contact.. kindly provide your comment here.. especially for Seam Reap areas. Thank you.. Welcome back to Kampuchea Kam... welcome.. and have a pleasant stay.. there.. Cheers.

4Days Before Revisit SEAM REAP

I Have clear in my mind now for my purpose trip to Cambodia. I have some target things to do and accomplish there. I'm hesitate, and very very dubious that I can complete them, as it must be accommpanied with more heads and hands. If only one man show, I don't believe it will work.

So, I tried already to prepare things that possible I can contribute during 'friends without borders' visit there. It will be 4 days remaining before revisit Seam Reap. This time visit not only for holiday.. but plenty of things in my head I need to do there. I even keep aside about my own writing for my research proposal. I believe I can do reading, reading and reading there later and start to think the research problem I would to develope in the future.

I have sent my friends the assessment form of household poverty, to find out some background of poor people there. How is their inflow and outflow, in order to find them the suitable livelihood program as their condition and capacity. While we had this small poverty database for 20 up to 50 households, next we would try to promote them online in blogs etc for "friends without borders" for whoever philantropist and has something to contribute to them.

Yes, we will try to posting the poor profils through online.. a 24 hours promotion, without borders, and the most convenience way to distribute the information.. hmmm..hmmm Hardly though..How am I going to encourage the bloggers to react and do something for them .. hmmm.. I am thinking.. it's not easy work.. but I think worth it to try.. yes.. let's us try..

SO, I told my friends that assessment for discussion/draft.. if they agreed so we can do the next step.. we will discuss further on YM.. see this all computers stuffs very usefull..just be online and get ready to discuss.. hehehe.. right.. rite.. right..

Well okay, we will see.. I'm counting my times to visit Cambodia again.. from Cambodia will go to Bali, just for one or two weeks.. Hhmmm.. Bali is Paradise.. Bali will be always be Heaven for travellers.. hehehe.. Welcome to Phnom Phen, Seam Reap - Kampong Cham - Seam Reap - Phnom Phen and KL and Denpasar and Jakarta... Anyone to Joint? Please let me know.. cheers..

I'm Not a Robinhood :) Poverty TRAPPED

AHGH... I wish I'm a Robinhood.. so can help the poor to escape from the deprivation gulch. I don't want to get trapped in poverty also due to my complicated and long way thesis.. hehehe. A friend told me that.. you will get poverty trapped incase you finish your study for 4-5 years.. hmmm.. is that true ? or Not ? hehehe.. I don't know for sure..

In one side this passion to help the severe poor people so flame up, another side I have no well equipped to do that. A friends told me It's good, but its not going to be happened.. no no.. hahaha.. they challenged me. Considering all the constraints I have I should be agreed with them.. and say thank you.. THANK YOU.. thank you..

Yes, I wisely have make up in my mind that I'll discontinue to do research related with the hardcore poor society. So, I told my Hero and Heroin already about my decision, inform them through email.. I told them that I'm in confusing, and in dilemma and had made early decision about that.

My plan to have trip in Cambodia remain the same, only I'm not going to do research on the severe poor, no.. not.. touching them at all.. maybe :) hmmm.. but I still need to visit my friend with his NGO there, and see If I can contribute something with my capacity then i need to be always remember that I'm not a Robinhood.. no.. not at all.. I felt a bit disappointed sorry now for the better later.. I hope.. Insya Allah..

My Ambition Extinguished

I suppose not to blame anyone including myself. I felt that my passion for my research study extinguised. I know nothing, nowhere, I lost track of what I'm trying to find out. I keep reading my draft DRAFT research paper to get clear pictures of my research problem.. but still huh HUH HUH, .. blur .. blury.. still confusing to myself.

Ahggg..what is wrong with ME ? The discussion with the two hero and heroin still refresh in my mind. Both are willing to help me, as their student. Expect me to go to the right path of my study, so I can complete my study on time. Inspite of both of them hold their own principles and aproach.

Don't be so much idealist and magnanimous in your study, it's not a student's jobs to do an action research, as they are costly and need long process. Those action research mostly doing by NGOs, fund raising etc. For you as student, you may provide your recommendation in a few pages only out of your hundreds Thesis pages later. She rise up her objection for this action research model. If you want to do philantrophic job, then you can either wait after you finish your PhD or if your passion is really burning to help those then, quit your PhD, join an NGOs and focus your heart and soul there.

The contrary with the Hero comments about the action research, well this is practical research. You may live with the hardcore poor people in the rural, stay with them for a week and make your observation, your study about their inflow and outflow, then you only be able to understand their situation and find out solution to help them out of the poverty trap.
This process will take many years, to assess the poor situation while the microfinancing already help them.. analyse the poor performance and so on .. and so on.. so ON.. hmmm Eventually you present your finding and analysis on the VIVA that will support you a lot.. Nobody will inquiry you.. the study mixed up in your blood, your passion, so easy for you to tackle the show.

I analyze his option methodology, not as easy as I think. Lot of resources needed. I agreed that it will give a clear and significant impact for the poor, but with the all limitations I have.. wisely I decided to push away my ambition and passion to find the other models.


I do understand their reasons and concern, so I need to go to the right path of my study, that until know I still has blurry direction. Hmm.. I need to do alot of Iqro Iqro.. Iqro again.. and study myself about the research research methodology etc. I though no wonder got some students spents many years for their PhD study.. as It's not as easy as I think.. BE SMART...fellow..

The G O D will Back UP

Interesting conversation I have with my neighbor this morning. He is a 66 years Indian man, working as Marketing Manager at hospital line.

I come to his room for the purpose of to storage some of my clothing, plastic cabinets and books in his room. As, I'll discontinue my rental for a month to go to Cambodia for my small research.

He ask me a lot of things about my study, and explain a lot of things as well. He is a kind of talkative, matured, and knowledgeable man. His English very clear, fluent and easy for me to catch. Even though he is just a DME - Diploma in Medical Engineering, but in this matters proven that his education level doesn't related with wide knowledge, though he has. From the questions he asking me, his though and comments I can see that clearly, that he has brain and smart. I'll try to explore further his knowledge, and experiences for this 10days I have in Penang.

For him, no problem I can put my stuffs in his room as storage. I said thank you, It is nice talking with him and some other time I'll talk further with him to discussion about anything..

I explained to him about my research project in Cambodia related with the poor community and sustainable livelihood approach. I express my passion and interest to do that research for my PhD. He asked a lot, my background, How and Why I'm interested in that poor, the benefit will I have.. hmmm.. hmm... and the bold
question regarding How and who will back up you to do all this things ? He made me hesitate.. with smile.. and not as confident as the way he rise answer and question.. I said the G O D .. the GOD.. Insya Allah........

Father and Son - Cat Stevens

It's not time to make a change
just relax take it easy
you are still young
that's your fault
that's so much you have to know

Find the girl,
settle down,
if you want
you can marry
look at me
i'm old
but i'm happy

I was once like you are now,
and i know that's not easy
to be calm, when you found something going on
take your time
think a lot
think of every thing u got
for you will be still here tomorrow
but your dreams may not

how can i try to explain
when i do he turns away again
it's always in the same
same old story
from the moment i could talk
i was ordered to listens Now,

there is a way,and
I know that I have to go away
I know I have to go

It's not time to make a change
just sitdown take it slowly
you are still young, that's your fault
that's so much to have to go through

find the girl
settle down
if you want
you can marry
look at me,
I am old but i'm happy

All the time
that i cried
keeping all the things
i knew inside
It's hard but it's harder
to ignore it
If they were right
I'd agree
but it's them you know
not me
Now there is a way
and I know that
I have to go away

Welcome to the Jungle

Welcome to the Jungle.. K.. welcome..

Still can smile yeah, I'm asking myself, after having destructive talk with my important person from the school. He said I'm screaming.. ahgggggggg.. don't know..the communication running so bad.. He even successfully make me feeling down.. Down.. DOWN..thought I have make wrong decision to study here.. hmmm... capekkkkkkk dehhh..

He even doesn't like to discuss further, He told me that I'm making the wrong channels to express the issue... and moving out to his door. A sign to let me out from the room, without having any answer for my questions.. hahaha.. Welcome to the Jungle.. K... so, what should you do ? Yeah, ofcourse I am moving out, and shake his hands, answering his bye..

Forget it.. cancell cancell FORGET it.. there is always thousands path to ROMA, yeah.. I'm entertain myself. I want to have a real scream.. go to the jungle.. but I'm so weak.. to scream.. This fasting Ramadhan become my weapon to keep patience.. be patience.. Kam......... come on.. go to jungle.. shoot it.. scream.. so the world will loughing with you.. hahaha..

I really want to forget this meeting, its make me headache.. and increase my temperature.. ohhhh should i go to Clinic... no need though it's all in your mind set. Just forget it.. simply.. forget it.. think positive, and go for you goal as you can.. don't let this useless discussion destruc you.. think think THINK man.. what things he react like that?

Put myself in his position? Will I react the same when I said that "The school of social in my case, my personal point it's not really "friendly" social in Nature." no friendly... I said it's not really social in nature.. and that's my personal opinion..

That "friendly" social come from his explanation.. yeah.. He catch what I mean.. then maybe rise his ego as important person in the school when heard my comment. I don't know if I'll do the same, if I heard that later from my students.. hmmm.. don't know.. I really don't know...... but for sure.. I'll note myself.. that I'll not behave like that.. I'll try to listens.. listen.. LISTEN...... and try to find a way to solve any problems.. You are make the wrong channels.. man.. so, will you tell me the correct channell I need to to do, please...

Okay.. I'm fine, I'm Good.. Alhamdulillah.. those all things should make me stronger and full of bullets to survive in this jungle.. okay.. mate.. Welcome to the Jungle.. be ready.. be alert.. if you wanna be survive.. don't wild.. behave, calm, focust.. have plan..A, B, C, D till Z.. hehehe.. this fun.. FUN FUN FUN.. this USEFUL USEFULL USEFULL.. this POSITIVE POSITIVE. POSITIVE.. well.. welcome to the jungle.. Kamal............. I sigh myself.. jungle .. jungle.. Welcome to the jungle :)